Horror Movie Madness
by CuteCrittersGang
Summary: When a group of anime characters from Furuba, DNAngel, and Inuyahsa get thrown headfirst into a horror movie, who will survive the chaos? Contains swearing, stupidity, and humor.
1. Chapter 1

Sassy: Welcome to our brand-new story, Horror Movie Madness! 

Angry Kitty: Where we will make fun of all the things that seem to happen during horror movies!

Tom: For example, one of the most clichéd ways to die is by saying "I'll be right back."

Flipper: Someone's gonna die for that!

Angry Kitty: And our very enthusiastic special guest for this story is the one and only HATSUHARU!

Haru: (blinks)

Flipper: COW! (glomps) (Those who have read _The Day Yuki Sohma Went Goth_ know that Flipper is our brand-new member of CCG)

Haru: (turns into cow)

Tom: He's awesome. He's one of the only characters we ALL like.

Haru: … That's nice.

Sassy: Now, LET'S BEGIN!

Disclaimer: Aw, you believe we own Furuba! Do you believe in Santa Clause and the Tooth Fairy, too? How horribly pathetic!

Sassy: Hey, I believe in Santa Clause! (pout)

Angry Kitty: I do, too!

Flipper: So do I!

(All turn to Tom)

Tom: (meekly) Um … onto Chapter One?

**CHAPTER ONE**

The Prince Yuki Fanclub is made up of some of the most devoted girls in all of Japan. They worship the ground he walked on, and adhered to the club's rules under pain of DEATH.

And they were practically spitting fire when they saw the Yankee, the Witch, and the creepy goth girl fawning over Prince Yuki, smiling flirtatiously and rubbing all over them. Prince Yuki was THERES and THERES ALONE. No women had the right to even brush against his perfect body! They were even jealous of the quiet boy with black and white hair, who was also standing alarmingly close to their precious Prince.

(Note: In all reality, Hana was conversing with Tohru and Momiji, Uo was in another argument with Kyo, and it was Haru who was REALLY all over Yuki. Show's what obsession can do to vision, eh?)

But in the exact instant they had all simultaneously decided to jump the three girls, Hana glanced over her shoulder, and dark aura swirling around her body the color of her soulless eyes.

Needless to say, they went their way unharmed.

"Man, I'm SO glad it's the weekend!" Uo said after she had successfully reduced to Kyo to hissing at her.

"Are you glad, Yuki?" Haru asked quietly, hand still grasping the end of Yuki's shirt lightly.

Sighing, Yuki replied politely, "Yes, of course I am."

Momiji began babbling something in German to Tohru, who was attempting to listen to him and at the same time calm Kyo down.

Unexpectedly, a loud, shrill voice screamed, "HEY KYO!" Said cat-boy was suddenly fending off the glomp from a strange girl with dark orange hair, cat ears, and a cat tail.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?"

The girl stopped and blue eyes regarded him with angry shock. "Are you stupid? It's me, Angry Kitty!"

Yuki, Tohru, and Kyo gaped at her as another girl came up, with a long, sleek white mane of hair and a glossy tail that was even longer than Angry Kitty's. She had a horseshoe dangling from her belt loop.

"Do you realize how much grief a talking animal can get?" Angry Kitty bitched, oblivious.

"We needed to look normal looking," the new arrival supplied.

"… Sassy-san?" Tohru asked, amazed. (A/N: (laughs hysterically) Who in there right mind would call her Sassy-san? She's a horse! Well, not at the moment)

"The one and only. We're here to pick you up from school!"

Kyo nodded smoothly, as if already used to them popping up every-fucking-where. "So where's Tom?"

Angry Kitty pointed to a dark blue van, where another girl was lounging nonchalantly, nose buried in a book. She had streaky brown hair, small, round, squirrel-like ears, and a huge, bushy tail. Surprisingly, another girl was with her, one with long, dark silver hair and brown eyes as well as … webbed hands?

"Who's that?" Kyo asked.

"Flipper!" Sassy replied brightly, "Our newest CCG member."

"Oh my God, there just has to be four of you."

Yuki, who had been stunned and dazed, balked at the sight of the van and immediately turned to run. Kyo, however, grabbed him by the collar and dragged him towards it, kicking and screaming. Literally. Haru trotted obediently after them, not the least bit phased.

Sassy clasped her hands together and cooed, "Aw, Kyo's so obedient."

Angry Kitty smiled like a doting parent. "We taught him so well. OKAY LET"S GET GOING!"

Uo and Hana were still in shock, so Tohru bowed a quick goodbye and rushed off after Angry Kitty and Sassy, Momiji on her heels. He asked six million questions (Who are they? Are they your friends? Are we going somewhere?), and she had an answer for each one (The CuteCrittersGang. I suppose you could say that. Apparently).

After Yuki was successfully wrestled into the car, the others piled in. They were gone with a squeal of the tires and the reflected, blinding gleam of the sun.

Uo stared, mouth hanging open. She turned to Hana, standing solemnly beside her.

"What the hell was that?"

IIIIIIIIIII

The van took yet another sharp turn, tipping over so it was skimming the road on two wheels, before touching down jarringly. Angry Kitty glanced back to see Sassy, Momiji, and Kyo grinning, and Yuki and Tohru hyperventilating and whiter than paper. Haru was staring blandly out the window, and Flipper was staring at _him_.

"Having fun?" She asked brightly as Tom slowed a fraction as they sped through an intersection. Horns blasted, as she had just run a stop sign.

ANOTHER stop sign.

She had totally paused! The car had just … kept going. Who needs brakes ANYWAY?

"WHAT THE HELL!" Yuki shrieked, all his composure having fled his person at the first sight of Tom at the wheel.

"THIS IS FUN!" Flipper shrieked back.

After all, everyone knows squirrels are crazier than Jerry Springer on crack. No matter how apathetic they seemed.

"So where are we going?" Kyo asked over the sound of more sirens. Jeez, she was only going … 234mph in a 20mph-zone. What was their PROBLEM?

"The Sohma main house," Sassy answered cheerfully.

And against every sane, rational bone in Yuki's body, he immediately began trying to force the door open.

"I'M NOT GOING BACK!"

Thankfully, they swerved violently and Yuki's head crashed into the window, and he passed out, slumping in his seat.

Tom never once glanced away from the road.

That two-story house had come out of fucking nowhere.

**END**

Angry Kitty: And so ends chapter one!

Yuki: How come I'M not the special guest, huh?

Haru: (clings to Yuki)

Flipper: (clings to Haru)

Sassy: Because you do nothing but bitch and tell us how much we suck and how much you hate us!

Yuki: I do not!

Angry Kitty: Yes you do!

Yuki: Nuh-UH!

Angry Kitty/Sassy/Flipper: Yeah-HUH!

Yuki: Nuh-UH!

Angry Kitty/Sassy/Flipper: Yeah-HUH!

Tom: We'd very much appreciate it if you'd review.


	2. Chapter 2

Sassy: Konnichiwa, minna-san! 

Angry Kitty: Is that … Japanese? When'd you learn Japanese?

Sassy: Tom taught me how to say: "Good Afternoon, everyone." But that's it.

Flipper: Lucky! I can only speak English and … bad English!

Tom: As we said in _The Ways of the Bribe_, we were running out of greetings and needed to expand.

Angry Kitty: Whatever.

Flipper: Hey, where's Haru?

Sassy: He refused to come back if Yuki didn't come, and Yuki's a bitch, so we had to cut him loose.

Tom: But we have an even MORE special guest today! And he's from DNAngel, which makes him MORE SPECIAL.

Flipper: Everyone, meet the very adorable DAISUKE NIWA!

Daisuke: Hi! (smiles)

CCG: (melts into puddles of goo) Awwwww.

Angry Kitty: You know, Daisuki-

Tom: Daisuke.

Angry Kitty: Kiosk-

Tom: _Daisuke_.

Angry Kitty: (sighs impatiently) You know, Big D, out of all the DNAngel characters, we like YOU the best!

Tom: (whispers to Sassy) Big D?

Sassy: (shrugs)

Flipper: (giggles)

Daisuke/Big D: (blushes) Thank you!

Tom: Well, anyways.

Disclaimer: When you wish upon a star … it doesn't make you a famous manga artist.

**CHAPTER TWO**

They had arrived at the main house after nearly getting into forty-three accidents, twelve car chases, and over two million dollars in property damage.

And it had only taken three hours! (They had to backtrack a lot. Damn cops …)

Tohru climbed out weakly, shaking like a leaf, Momiji bouncing around her happily. Kyo was in the midst of bribing all three girls and, between loud, chomping bites of chocolate, was told what the hell was going on. Haru and Flipper were restraining Yuki, who was trying vainly to run away.

Angry Kitty paused in the middle of her sentence and beamed at him. "Don't worry Yun-Yun! We took care of Akito!"

Yuki's eyes snapped to her. "How?"

IIIIIIIIIII

Akito was slumped in an uncomfortable, somewhat upright position. His eyes fluttered open, and it took him about three eye-popping seconds before he began throwing a hissy.

A pretty red-haired woman in a flight attendant's uniform hurried to his side. "Please don't worry sir. We'll be in the air in no time."

"IN THE-DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I AM GOD! DO YOU HEAR ME? GOD!"

Somewhere from the back, an irate voice told him to shut up, and was promptly ignored.

The attendant smiled soothingly and patted his shoulder, unfazed when he recoiled from her touch.

"They have medication for that, sir. Just relax and enjoy the flight. We'll be in New York in no time!"

Akito pressed himself to the small window, watching in horror as the ground began to get farther away. An inhuman wail was torn from his throat.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

IIIIIIIIIII

"New YORK? Are you SERIOUS?" Yuki gaped at the three girls, who were all smirking.

"Man, I wonder how he's gonna react …" Kyo mused.

Tohru looked slightly distressed as they navigated through the grounds, making their way to the main building. "Oh, but poor Akito-san!"

Yuki snorted contemptuously, "He deserves whatever he gets."

Tom glanced at her watch. "Crap! We're WAY off schedule, it's nearly eight! You were supposed to be gone half an hour ago, Angry Kitty! Hurry or you'll miss him!"

"Got it!" Angry Kitty yelled, running out of sight almost faster than they could track.

"Damn," Kyo said, bemused and slightly shocked, "she can run!"

"That she can!" Flipper agreed.

The Sohma complex was silent as they entered it, more creepy than usual. They entered Akito's room, where Hatori, Ayame, Shigure, Kisa, and Hiro were already settled in. Ayame immediately flew at his brother.

"YU-KIIII! When I agreed to partake in the whims of the three beautiful CuteCrittersGang, I did not realize it would be a chance for brotherly bonding!" Ayame yelled, the air around him going pink with shojo-bubbles.

Yuki twitched and asked, "Why is HE here?"

Tom raised an eyebrow and examined the bubbles around Ayame, ignoring Yuki easily. When they kept moving away from her (because Ayame was trying to get to Yuki), she growled and tackled him, managing to sit on his stomach without transforming him. She poked at the bubbles, making a few of them burst into multicolored sparkles.

"What's the POINT of all this?" Hiro whined, scowling darkly at Sassy and Tom, "You two look stupid, and what kind of name is Tom? Aren't you a girl?"

Tom gave him a look so dark it had him huddling behind Kisa, who blinked in innocent confusion.

A few minutes later, Haru was clinging to Yuki once more as they all sat down in a circle. Shigure, sitting to Hatori's left, and Ayame, to his right, were having a pointless, lewd conversation. They were pretty much sitting on top of Hatori, giggling and whispering. Hatori didn't even seem to notice, far too used to his cousin's actions. Flipper was giggling right along with Shigure and Ayame, every once and awhile nuzzling Haru's shoulder affectionately.

Sassy was bouncing around the room, annoying everyone in sight, while Tom sat in the corner, nose buried once more in her book. Kisa and Momiji were stuck to Tohru, and Hiro was glaring at the poor girl jealously.

Kyo, missing up until now, burst dramatically in the room. After messing with Akito's things, he had donned Akito's ceremonial robe and was now sauntering around the room.

In a voice that mocked Akito's normally frightening tone of voice, he said, "Ooh, look at me, I'm the high-and-mighty Akito. I AM GOD, OBEY ME OR FEEL MY WRATH!"

Everyone looked at him for a couple seconds before laughing wildly. Even Hatori gave a small smirk.

IIIIIIIIIII

"YUUUUU-" Akito was cut off in the middle of his yell with a violent sneeze. "I KNOW YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT ME!" He shrieked to no one in particular as the flight attendants rushed around him frantically, trying to shut him up and failing.

Miserably.

IIIIIIIIIII

Angry Kitty had ducked behind a wall, pulling a Haru and setting up a slack rope on the ground. She glanced around it to see Dark coming this way, running as if to jump into the air. With one flick of her wrist, he was on the ground.

"WHAT THE-" he began, but Angry Kitty jumped him from behind, wrapping one arm around his neck and dragging him away. After a brief struggle, he was in a large cage, and Angry Kitty was sitting on top of it, breathing heavily. Dark's deft fingers were already picking the lock, but Tom was smarter than he was. She had rigged the cage so that every time he tried to escape-

"OW! Mother-!"

-He was got two hundred volts charged straight from the lock itself. The bars were similarly equipped. Dark was kicking and yelling, and Angry Kitty methodically ignored him and dragged the cage away.

**END**

Dark: How come I couldn't be the special guest?

Sassy: God, you sound like Yuki!

Dark: … Which one's Yuki?

Flipper: The silver-haired girly one.

Dark: (gasps on outrage) How dare you! Not only am I WAY MANLIER, I'm totally sexier!

Daisuke: (exasperated) Dark, you're causing a scene.

Dark: SO?

Tom: ... I'd SAY thank you for the reviews, but NO ONE FUCKING REVIEWED! (fumes)

Flipper: Now, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't forget to review!

Angry Kitty: Or we'll ... (pauses, waits for Tom to stop her)

Tom: WHO GIVES A FLYING FUCK IF THEY DON'T REVIEW ANYWAYS?

Angry Kitty: Yay! Not only will we fry your asses with a flamethrower, but we will ALSO behead you! So REVIEW ALREADY! DON'T BE A LURKER!

Dark/Daisuke: (scared) Please review!


	3. Chapter 3

Sassy: Holy crap, we're back! 

Angry Kitty: … Well THAT was original.

Sassy: Wasn't it?

Flipper: Uh-huh!

Tom: And how had everyone been since our last chapter?

Daisuke: I can't wait to see what happens next!

Flipper: (stares) REALLY?

Daisuke: (nods)

Angry Kitty: Aw, Dai-chan! (glomps)

Tom: You know I'll always have a special place in my heart for Satoshi.

Sassy: Yeah, yeah, favorite character, we KNOW.

Tom: Hmph!

**Disclaimer:** We own nothing. Not Furuba, or DNAngel, or even the shirts on our backs. 

Oh wait. Those ARE ours. (Sassy: Actually, my shirt is Angry Kitty's)

**CHAPTER THREE**

After about half an hour of basically nothing, Yuki asked, "Who was Angry Kitty in such a hurry to get?"

Sassy jumped up and down ecstatically, "Oh, I was so hoping you'd ask! Well, she-"

"She's getting Dark, a famous art thief, for us because tonight he's stealing an artwork that we need to commence the tor-I mean, fun." Tom said blandly.

"Heeeey!" Sassy whined, "I was gonna say that!"

Flipper nodded sagely, "Yeah, she practically called it."

"Too bad."

Kyo plopped down next to Tom, Sassy, and Flipper and asked, "What does it do?"

"Oh! Oh! I know!" Sassy said eagerly, but was beaten to the punch by Tom again.

"It let's us borrow monsters from other worlds. For tonight."

"He-!" Sassy began, pouting.

"You took too long to answer, so I did it for you. Chillax, it's not that big of a deal," Tom said lazily.

"It's okay Sassy," Flipper said, patting Sassy on the shoulder consolingly.

"M-Monsters?" Tohru stuttered, terrified.

Haru looked mildly impressed. "Cool."

Just then, Angry Kitty burst into the room, still dragging Dark's cage. The Furuba characters looked at the purple-haired thief in surprise. So this was Dark?

"OW!" he yelped as he was thrown against the bars of the cage and shocked for no reason.

"It's your fault! I had to drag your sorry ass down here!"

"I could have WALKED!"

"And give you the perfect chance to escape? I don't think so!"

"Aw … you just didn't want to let me go."

"YOU ARE SO FULL OF IT!"

Tom whistled loudly, getting everyone's attention. "Good. How did you get him so fast anyway?"

Flipper pouted. "I wish I could whistle."

"It really wasn't that hard, I just tripped him. I don't see why Satoshi had such a hard time with him."

"Can we speed this up? I'm late as it is," Dark said, eyeing Angry Kitty maliciously.

"Late? For what?"

"To steal the artwork of course. I didn't get a chance before-"

"WHAT?" Tom screamed, making everyone in the room cower and cover their ears. "You mean he didn't get the ARTWORK?"

Sassy began laughing hysterically in the background. Flipper just looked into space dazedly.

Angry Kitty looked stricken, "Oops."

"'Oops' is right. Now you turn your ass around and go get it," Tom said, a note of finality in her voice. Sassy continued to laugh.

"Fine, fine. You, let's go," Angry Kitty replied, tearing open the cage door and pulling Dark out and dragging him away by the collar.

"What do you need me for?"

"One: Appearance. There's no way anyone would think I'm you. Two: I'll need a ride home. I sure as shit can't run as fast as you can fly."

Sassy suddenly stopped laughing. "What were we talking about?"

IIIIIIIIIII

Angry Kitty looked down the darkened hallway, did a fast roll to the other wall, humming the Mission Impossible theme song loudly.

Dark walked past her, "There's really no need for that."

She beamed, "Oh well, it's fun!"

"Alright, stop here. Now, stay very close to me, because the lasers. Now if I … what are you doing?"

Angry Kitty barely glanced up from were she was meticulously pouring gasoline all over the floor.

"I'm gonna fry the systems … literally," she said, dropping a single match.

"AHHHHHHH!!!!!"

IIIIIIIIIII

Sassy, Flipper, Tom, Haru, Hatori, and Kyo were playing a loud, exciting game of poker (stupid Hatori kept winning because he had the best poker face!). Shigure and Ayame yelled out cheerful advice that mostly worked AGAI NST whoever they were trying to help. Yuki had gained some confidence after seeing that NO, Kyo didn't burst into flames after defying Akito, and had gone temporarily missing.

He popped out of nowhere, wearing Akito's at-home robe and mockingly yelled, "BOW TO YOUR GOD!!!"

They all dramatically threw down their cards (with the exception of Hatori and the ever-stoic Haru), and began to bow, laughingly wailing, "We are not worthy!"

IIIIIIIIIII

"AH! Get off me!" Angry Kitty yelled, pushing at Dark's shoulder lividly.

You see, Angry Kitty didn't move away from the fire in the time, pyromaniac that she was, so Dark was forced to tackle her before she was fried.

"Oh, sorry," Dark snapped sarcastically, "I'll try and be more considerate the next time I SAVE YOUR LIFE!!! And what the hell were YOU thinking? Were you trying to burn the place down of what? Destroying the museum is NOT part of the plan!"

"I didn't completely destroy it, just that one room! And besides, those were the crappy artworks. They were worth what, $200,000? Please." She sighed impatiently. "Can we just get this over with?"

"If you insist," Dark replied derisively, dragging her to the next room. This resulted in a loud shouting match and much kicking and clawing. This brought the attention of the police, who soon were attempting to surround them.

"I didn't know you worked with a partner, Dark," Satoshi said coolly, his voice amplified form the museums speaker system.

"You distract the police, I'll get the artwork. Meet on the roof in twenty. If you're not there, I'll assume your dead. Ready? GO!" Angry Kitty cried, shoving Dark into the shocked arms of the police. Pandemonium broke out.

Dark twisted away and frantically ran, with the police hot on his heels.

Angry Kitty immediately picked up the artwork: a slim, two-foot-long staff with a diamond-shaped top with an emerald in the center. "What idiots. And how gaudy is THIS piece of crap?" She took off for the roof.

About five minutes later, she found Dark lying on the roof, panting. "I got it!" She said cheerfully, ignoring the dirty looks Dark was shooting her. "Now let's get out of here."

"Fine … but you're going to have to hold on tight," he said in a low voice, smiling at her.

She rolled her eyes, "Whatever, perv. Your lucky I'm not a cat anymore, or I'd scratch your eyes out."

He wound his arms around her waist and pulled her against him. Right before he took off, Risa burst from the door to the roof, Riku hot on her heels.

"Dark! MY LOV-" She choked, looking with huge eyes as she saw Angry Kitty nestled securely in Dark's arms. She gasped so hard she nearly turned blue with effort. "DARK!!!" She shrieked, her volume rivaling that of Akito's. "Another woman? HOW COULD YOU?" She began to sob.

Angry Kitty twitched. _This must look so wrong …_

Risa's voice was choked with tears. "If you already HAD a girlfriend, all you had to do was say so!"

Riku glared at them. "Nice job breaking my sister's heart, you bastard!"

"I'M NOT HIS FUCKING GIRL-" Angry Kitty began, but was quickly smothered against Dark's chest.

"WIZ!"

They leapt from the roof, Wiz appearing as Dark's wings. They had begun to fly away when Angry Kitty smacked at Dark.

"Look, look! It's Satoshi!"

And indeed it was, his blue hair shining in the lights of police headlights as he conversed tersely with the chief of police.

"What about him?"

"Let's nab him!"

"CREEPY BOY? Why?"

"Because he's Tom's favorite character, so get the lead out!"

The dipped in a quick dive, and no one noticed until the last minute, and by that point they were far too close. Angry Kitty grabbed him by his waist and hoisted him into the air. Dark beat his wings frantically at the added weight.

"What," Satoshi asked in his most freezing voice, "do you think you are doing?"

Angry Kitty beamed, "Kidnapping you!"

"… Once again, I didn't know you had a partner, Dark."

"WHAT?" He screeched, making them fall a couple meters before he gained control.

"I hate her! She's EVIL!!!"

Angry Kitty batted her eyelashes. "Oh, Dark, you sweet-talker, you!"

"Shaddup."

Satoshi raised an eyebrow. "How lovely. Put. Me. Down."

With an irritated snort, Angry Kitty made a gun materialize in her hand. (Author powers: The perfect plot hole filler!) "I am NOT in the mood." And with that she smacked him so hard he passed out.

"… Is he dead?"

"No. Just unconscious. Good thing, too. This'll make Tom back off about being late."

And with that they flew away.

IIIIIIIIIII

Akito was hyperventilating, caught between throwing up and passing out. The normally cheerful flight attendant threw her hands in the air in relief.

"Finally! It took enough tranquilizers to kill three bull elephants, but he's FINALLY SHUT UP!!!"

The man sitting next to Akito was leaning as far away from him as he could, tears falling silently down his face, his hand covering his mouth in horror. Akito can do that to people.

The flight attendant helped him out of his seat, rubbing soothing circles on his back as his shoulder shook with silent sobs, "Sir, let's get you another seat, maybe near the back?"

Akito slumped against the window once more. "Hatori, help … Yuki, I'll get … you … zzzzzzzz."

**END**

Angry Kitty: Ah, another chapter!

Sassy: (is emo)

Tom: … What the hell?

Sassy: (sniff) Summer's over.

Flipper: Summer ROCKS!

Tom: It's BEEN over.

Angry Kitty: Uh, HELLO. We've been in school for, like, three and a half MONTHS.

Sassy/Flipper: So?

Tom: What to say, what to say? Everyone who reviewed made me cry because I felt so much love? At least SOMEONE reviewed.

Sassy: Two someone's! The Girly Man reviewed twice!

Angry Kitty: YOU DIDN'T CRY!

Flipper: Liar liar, pants on fire!

Tom: SSH, shut up! Here's the list: **Dr. Hairspray** and **The Girly Man**.

Sassy: Heeeeey ... isn't "Dr. Hairpray" Tom's-

Tom: SHUT UP!

Daisuke: Huh?

Angry Kitty: Don't ask. (eye roll)

Daisuke: Well, um, I guess I'll end the chapter! Be safe!

CCG: AH! Tohru-copy cat!


	4. Chapter 4

Sassy: And we're back again!

Angry Kitty: Yes, indeed.

Kagome: Why'd you have to bring US into it, huh?

Inuyasha: Yeah, we were perfectly happy!

Tom: (snort) No you weren't. Between Naraku, your own relationship troubles, and the constant strain of fighting demons, how the fuck were you happy?

Kagome/Inuyasha: …

Angry Kitty: I hate it when she gets all smart.

Flipper: (nods)

**Disclaimer:** WE CLAIM NOTHING!

**CHAPTER FOUR**

Angry Kitty and Dark walked into the room smoothly … okay, no they didn't. They were arguing at the top of their lungs, pushing and fighting each other at each turn. Satoshi was being dragged along after them. When Tom saw him, she immediately jumped onto him, pulling him away from the two.

"You are forgiven," she said simply, but her eyes were bright.

"Alright. You can leave," Angry Kitty told Dark, smiling nastily. "Bye now."

"Didn't I tell you? He's staying with us!" Sassy said cheerfully, ignoring the Glare of Horrible DoomTM that Angry Kitty shot at her. Dark nodded with another smile.

"Oh," she said, cat ears twitching angrily. Her voice was bright and cheery, false as it was. "Okay. I'm gonna kill her."

She lunged at Sassy, who skipped away. Flipper and Tom held her back. "No, NO! We NEED her, annoying or not!" Tom yelled furiously, struggling to restrain her. Sassy hid behind Haru.

Momiji was bouncing around the room anxiously. "Don't hurt Sassy!" he cried.

Angry Kitty bristled, "Fine!" She then, calmly, began attacking the wall. Dark gave the rod over to Tom when she looked at him pointedly, then stalked off to talk to Tohru. More like flirt shamelessly. Kyo hovered behind him, scowling menacingly. Flipper was, once again, drawn to Haru.

"Alright, now all we have to do is think of a monster and push the emerald," Angry Kitty said, having finished beating up the wall. (Which was innocent, I tell you! INNOCENT!)

Tom nodded briefly before laying her hand over the "button."

Sassy leapt up and down and screeched, "WAIT! I WANNA DO IT!!!"

The other two looked at her before reluctantly giving her the rod. "Now, listen to me VERY CAREFULLY. All we need is to show them a couple monsters, so bring one giant lion demon and one giant grasshopper demon with big-ass fangs," Tom explained slowly, deliberately, "Whatever you do, do NOT BRING THE ACTUAL CHARACTERS INTO THIS WORLD! No Shippo, no Sango, nada. Do you understand?"

"Of course!" She replied, slapping the emerald happily. Lights exploded from it, making everyone in the vicinity shield their eyes. Soon, sound replaced the light.

"-Believe you would say that!"

"And why wouldn't I? It's true!"

"Grr … SITSITSITSITSITSITSITSITSIT!!!"

The looked up to see Inuyasha in a small crater on the ground, and Kagome standing over him, looking supremely pissed off.

"Oh, great!" Angry Kitty said sarcastically. "You brought Inuyasha and Kagome. Wonderful."

Flipper's eyes sparkled. "Ooh, me next, me next! I wanna push the button next!"

Kagome looked at all of the wide eyes staring at her and blushed.

"Um … hi?"

IIIIIIIIIII

Akito was struggling against the six seat belts he was in, his mouth covered with duct tape.

"There you go, sir," the flight attendant said soothingly to the man Akito had destroyed, as she went to check on Akito himself. Her eyes spat fire.

"Just watch the movie, _sir_," she said through gritted teeth, before marching off.

Akito lay back against the seat for a moment, panting heavily. Where did he go wrong? Why were none of his faithful servants coming to get him? AND WHERE THE HELL WAS HE GOING?

Oh, right. New York. ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FUCKING WORLD!

He began struggling again, and the people around him could still hear his faint screams of, "I AM GOD!!!!"

Freak.

IIIIIIIIIII

Tom had, once again, taken charge. "Now, since we have," she did a quick head-count, "fourteen people, not including the four of us, we're splitting up into groups. I CALL DIBS ON SATOSHI!!!" She immediately glomped his still unconscious form and glared around the room, protectively cradling his head.

"AND I CALL DIBS ON HARU!" Flipper squealed, cuddling his arm (so that he wouldn't transform).

"Uh, yeah … both of those were givens," Angry Kitty said, watching her friend let go of the bluenette.

"Ahem. Angry Kitty, since you and Dark get along SO well, I'm putting him in your group."

There was silence for a beat. Two.

"Oh, to hell with THAT!" Dark spat, scowling menacingly. In another second, a furiously blushing Daisuke stood where Dark had been, fingering his other half's leather ensemble as if embarrassed. He waved meekly.

Angry Kitty forgot about her malicious intent to kill all the squirrels in the vicinity and began tugging on the red, messy spikes that adorned Daisuke's head.

"Ooh, your hair's so _shiny_ …"

Grateful for the distraction, Tom immediately assigned Kisa, Kyo, and Hatori to the group. If anything, Kisa and Daisuke would distract her, and if things got bad, well … Hatori was a doctor, wasn't he?

"Okay, as for Sassy … hey, where IS she?" Tom asked, noting Sassy's absence.

As if just waiting for someone to say her name, Sassy bounded in, and thrust some dark cloth at Kagome.

"What's-?"

"Pants. For all things holy, put them on and shut up," Sassy said, eyeing the girl as she left. "Slut."

Inuyasha pondered what on earth the word, "slut" meant and resolved to ask Kagome later. At the moment, a small girl with tawny hair and smelled like a tiger was looking shyly at his ears. And the small boy next to her (that smelled distinctly sheepish (yay for double meanings!)) was glaring at him. What the hell were these brats looking at?

Inuyasha was brought out of his musings when Kagome came back in; skirt bunched in her hands, but instead of pants, she had cut the legs off to make really really short shorts.

Sassy twitched. "Those were my favorite pair of pants, and you RUINED THEM!" She was about to leap at the other girl, but Flipper distracted her with chocolate, which made her temporarily forget the whole pants issue.

Tom resumed creating "groups."

"As I was saying, Sassy can take Hiro-"

"EW, the SHEEP BOY?"

"Tohru-"

"…"

"Yuki-"

"…"

"And Ayame."

"OH YUKI!!!!" Ayame cried, and Yuki couldn't quite avoid getting a huge hug from his older brother.

But kicked him across the room to make up for it.

While Ayame chanted about brotherly bonding and Yuki glared daggers, Tom continued on as if oblivious, "And I guess I'll take Inuyasha and Shigure."

As Shigure attempted to put the moves on her, Inuyasha demanded answers in hot, angry tones. The room was in chaos as it was, everyone yelling or complaining or generally making a racket.

That's what Satoshi saw, a room full of strange people yelling and carrying on, including the girl who kidnapped him and Daisuke (who was still in Dark's leather outfit AND being accosted by Angry Kitty). In reality, he had been awake for a while … damn low blood pressure.

Satoshi calmly brought two fingers to his lips and blew, the long whistle piercing the disorder and bringing the focus on him.

"Satoshi!"

He acknowledged Daisuke's concern and turned towards the rest of the group.

"Now, will someone explain what the hell is going on?"

**END**

Kagome: I AM NOT A SLUT!

Inuyasha: What's a "slut"?

Tom: A dirty, slovenly, and sexually promiscuous woman. It's an insult.

Angry Kitty: Again with the smartness!

Sassy: She had a dictionary, retard.

Flipper: AHH, DICTIONARY! IT HURTS MY EYES!

Inuyasha: Don't insult Kagome! TETSUIGA! (sword stays a rusty piece of junk) The hell …?

Sassy: Duh, technically human here!

Angry Kitty: Brilliant, dogface.

Flipper: Ha ha, doggy!

Inuyasha: (growls)

Tom: Why do you people LIKE this crap? Our gracious reviewers are **The Girly Man** (you are the awesomenesst person ever for continuosly reviewing ALL our stories! (glomps)) and **Inu**. To answer your question, **Inu **(since you were anonymous and didn't leave an e-mail address) this story will most likely not get scary. But thanks for saying it was funny!

Sassy: Ooh, that's ... more than last time?

Flipper: Yeah! Wait, no it wasn't.

Angry Kitty: See ya'll in the next chapter!


	5. Chapter 5

Sassy: Hey, guys! Sorry we haven't updated this since, uh …

Tom: December.

Angry Kitty: Shit, it's been that long?

Flipper: WE HAVE EXCUSES! Finals, school ending-

Angry Kitty: I went to Europe!

Tom: Yeah, stupid ho left us …

Sassy: But enough of that! ON WITH THE STORY!

Disclaimer: We don't even own our PENCILS, okay? We stole them from the STAR Test! (inside joke) CHAPTER FIVE 

Tom launched herself at Satoshi, glomping him hard enough to crack a few ribs. Outwardly, he showed nothing but minor annoyance and shoved her off of him.

"Right then. Since all of you are clambering for answers, let's get to it!" Tom said, sounding (gasp) cheerful.

Angry Kitty nodded, continuing to play with Daisuke's hair. "Well, for one reason or another, you all ended up here."

"So prepared to attempt to live through the scariest night of your lives!" Sassy chirped, her words accented by a flash of lightening and the boom of thunder.

"We've separated you into groups, and we'll see which group survives under the conditions we've made," Flipper continued soberly, but ruined it by laughing.

Tom continued, "We've cut the power lines-"

"The phone lines-" Angry Kitty continued.

"And the gas lines in all the cars!" Sassy finished brightly.

"You're stuck here. There are also going to be demons running around who can," here Tom paused, "and WILL kill you."

Angry Kitty snickered evilly, "I hope you all watch horror movies, 'cause the rules are the same."

Several confused members of the group blinked. "'Rules?'"

"We'll give you a hint," Flipper said.

In unison, the four girls stated, "Don't split up."

And everything went black.

IIIIIIIIIII

Akito jolted out of a deep sleep and began yelling something about pink ponies and glitter, despite having duck tape over his mouth. He remembered where he was and got supremely pissed off.

"I HATE PLANES!!!!" He shrieked, the only thing audible beneath the duct tape.

The red-haired flight attendant briskly shot him up with more tranquilizers as she walked by, barely pausing. It had been three hours, and she was used to his chronic yelling.

Oh yeah, Akito is _so_ weak and sickly.

IIIIIIIIIII

Hatori sat up slowly, taking in his surroundings carefully. After getting their hint, he had blacked out. And so, apparently, had everyone else. Kisa and Kyo were sprawled to his left, and the red head that Dark had changed into, through some sort of magic or curse (He wasn't surprised, since he turned into a seahorse every time a girl hugged him) was slowly waking up in front of him.

He climbed gracefully to his feet and began waking the others up, calming Kyo down and comforting Kisa.

"Hey kid. What's your name?" Kyo asked the red head bluntly.

"Daisuke Niwa," he replied, warily eyeing his surroundings.

Angry Kitty burst through the only window in the room suddenly, soaked to the bone. After muttering a few curses, she immediately called for their attention.

As if she didn't have it already.

"Hello minions! Welcome to the last night of your lives! We-that is to say, I-will be monitoring your actions. If you break the rules, you get fed to a demon."

"What rules?" Hatori asked icily.

She just smirked and gave the trembling Kisa a hug. "You've seen horror movies, haven't you? Don't be the dumbass main characters that get themselves killed." With a wink, she was out the window. "Ta ta for now!"

IIIIIIIIIII

On the other side of the Sohma complex, Hiro was bitching. What else is new? Too bad nobody was listening but Tohru. Yuki and Ayame were (couhgcough) _bonding_.

"And what gives THEM the right to-"

"OUR BROTHERLY LOVE-!"

"SHUT UP!!!!!" A new voice roared, startling everyone into compliance. Sassy had leapt into the fray, angry at being ignored. "Thank you! Yeesh, you'd think some of ya would learn to shut the hell UP!" She fumed.

"You should learn to shut up, it's not like you've ever said anything useful!" Hiro spat.

With a hug and a cloud of smoke, sheep-Hiro stomped his hooves, but stayed silent.

"Now anyways. Welcome to your last night, because ya'll are probably gonna die!" Sassy said brightly.

"How can we keep from dying?" Yuki asked.

"Follow the rules."

Tohru asked politely, "What rules?"

Sassy scowled. "Don't you people watch horror movies? Just imagine you're in, what, _Scream_ or _Saw_ or whatever and don't make mistakes that'll get you killed! Okay? Bye." And with that, she disappeared.

Or, rather, fell down a plot hole that the authors are too lazy to fill.

IIIIIIIIIII

Momiji babbled (in German) to Haru excitedly, while Kagome was trying to find a way out of the room they were in.

There was a puff of smoke, and Flipper was clinging to a transformed Haru. After Momiji explained the curse to Kagome, Flipper cleared her throat.

"Watch out for any demons!" And with that, Flipper skipped out of the room the same was she came in.

A not-so-subtle trap door in the floor.

IIIIIIIIIII

As for the rest of them? Inuyasha was causing a scene and yelling something about jewel shards and Satoshi was watching his frenzied movement out of bleary eyes (DAMN LOW BLOOD PRESSURE!!!!!). Shigure was scribbling in a little notebook and cackling.

Tom walked in through the door of the room, two fingers held up in a salute. "Yo."

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?" Inuyasha yelled, unsheathing his Tetsuiga.

Too bad Tom was human. It stayed a rusty old blade.

"FUCK!!!"

"Well if you're done throwing a temper tantrum," Tom turned to the rest of them. "Welcome, blah blah blah, you're probably going to die. Shigure, you watch horror movies, right?"

He grinned.

"You know how the hero/heroine always does things like, run up the stairs when they should be getting out of there? Or how they go to investigate the "strange thumping" and get knifed? Don't make the same mistakes, and make sure no one else makes them." She walked out, giving a short wave.

Inuyasha began demanding answers from Shigure, and Satoshi began showing signs of life.

And Shigure …

Well, he was Shigure.

IIIIIIIIIII

The four members of the CuteCrittersGang observed the large collection of monitors that showed what each of their groups are doing.

"Man Tom, Flipper," Angry Kitty sighed. "It sucks you have such a small group."

"Yeah, they'll probably all get picked off!" Sassy nodded sympathetically.

"Nuh-uh!" Flipper glowered.

"At least they aren't stupid, like the members of YOUR groups," Tom replied, "At least mine'll last longer than yours."

"No way!"

"Mine will!"

"You wanna bet?"

There was a pause, before all four girls got a gleam to their eyes.

Tom let a slow smile spread across her face. "You're on."

END 

Angry Kitty: And the drama continues!

Tom: We'll start revealing the rules next chapter … _maybe_.

Sassy: And characters will be slowly picked off.

Flipper: I can't wait!

Yuki: CRAP! THIS IS ALL CRAP!

Angry Kitty: When the hell did you get here?

Dark: I agree with the girly-boy.

Yuki: You wanna see just how girly I am?

Dark: Are you _challenging_ me?

Yuki: (proceeds to beat his ass with mad martial arts moves)

Sassy: We're not impressed. Women do martial arts, too!

Tom: WE ARE NOT WORTHY OF YOUR KIND WORDS! **The Girly Man**, **Inu**, **ireina15963**, and **americarose**. We appreciate everyone who reviews, thank you so much!

Daisuke: (treating Dark's injuries) Man, you were BEAT Dark!

Dark: Shaddup, this is technically you're body, too!

Angry Kitty: YOU BEAT UP OUR SUPREMELY CUTE DAISUKE?

Sassy: YOU'RE GOIN' DOWN, BITCH!

(Both jump Yuki and start whipping his ass)

Flipper: FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

Tom: You know explosives are better than violence.

Everyone else: SHUT UP!

Tom: Whatever. Remember to review, 'kay?


End file.
